Tourniquet
by artemis347
Summary: Thiis is based on a song by evanescence. rea disclaimer. It's on out dear psychotic farf. please r&r!


Sorry for the long update ppl! i've been bogged down with school, dad(hhe gives me lectures yawn soooo boring), dance and choir. Plus i had writer's block shakes fist) Hope you like the fic!

Disclaimer: this song doesn't belong to me, I belongs to Evanescence, the characters don't even belong to me (even though I wish they did) the only thing that's mine is the PWP sniffs sadly

**Tourniquet**

/I tried to kill the pain,

But only brought more

So much more/

Blood fell from pale scarred wrists, from wound on his body. Some wounds caused by enemies that were once trusted friends and others from his own knives.

/I lay dying,

And I'm pouring,

Crimson regret and betrayal/

Staggering from blood loss and exhaustion he fell. He regretted trusting them, how he hated them for betraying him! At least the young one is not here. He at least must not have known. They'll probably tell him some lie to cover my death.

/I'm dying,

I'm praying

I'm bleeding,

And screaming/

Too much blood, too much hate, he screamed as he forced himself to rise then threw his body to attack them. He prayed that perhaps he might make it through this. Then, his memories were prodded. He remembered the last time he had prayed to God.

/Am I too lost,

To be saved,

Am I too lost/

He was, or rather is, my god. But I don't worship him. He is evil, he killed my family! Ruth saidI wasn't completely lost yet, beforeI killed her. Am I too lost now? He wondered.

/My god, my tourniquet,

Return to me salvation,

My god, my tourniquet

Return to me salvation/

So God, will you give me salvation? Or will you condemn me to hell? Should I even ask if I am too be saved? Ask if salvation can be returned to me? Even after all the people I've killed, after every attempt to hurt God?

/Do you remember me?

Lost for so long,

Will you be on the other side?

Or will you forget me/

Does he know that I exist anymore? I've been lost to him, in the hand of the devil those fools at the church would say, soon after, their bodies were mere corpses. When I die, will I see the supposedly 'Almighty's' face? If he were truly 'Almighty' he would have probably have stopped me from committing what are called 'sins.' Perhaps he has forgotten me, will not note my death. Perhaps he will leave me to be sent to Hell. If there is Hell.

/My god, my tourniquet,

Return to me salvation,

My god, my tourniquet,

Return to me salvation/

If He is truly all-forgiving, my salvation will be returned. If not, then, whatever they say on this earth is one giant lie, not that that would be any surprise.

/My wounds cry for the grave,

My soul cries,

For deliverance,

Will I be denied

Christ, tourniquet,

My salvation/

All the blood, is it really coming from the body? Can a person bleed so much without dying? Pain, for the first time since his family had been killed, surfaced. He could feel pain again! How strange was it too be able to feel this after so many years of numbness. Does this mean I have been forgiven? Or does this mean that I have been forgiven? Or does it signify that I am to be denied Christ, Heaven, Salvation and all that which has been proclaimed good according to the church? Will I become a demon in hell? Or one of the tortured souls for all eternity? I do not know, but I will when this is over I will. I know now that I can die without fear. Just as the Beserkers did in Viking times. Though their afterlife was much different. I will not be denied. I will be repaid.

Ende

Note: Berserkers were what the Vikings were called sometimes. They believed that there was no honor in dying at home, and that all warriors that died in battle would go to Valhalla. Valhalla is sort of a Viking Heaven, you can drink all you want and fight as much as you wish, and even if you get killed there you will be restored in the morning. Now getting back on track, the because of that belief they were not afraid of death and when you have nothing to lose you can fight all out, so they could plunge into battle and they may get injured but more often than not, they can out unharmed at the end of the battle while their enemies were left either dead or hurt.

Yup! Okay, I think that's it! Sorry for making this fic so short, and if you have any questions, ask in a review because I think I have about 500 e-mails and about 0 time to check them for a couple weeks, might as well just review and when I see it I'll go a) e-mail you with the answer or b) put it on my profile or something okay! Thanks for reading and please review!

Artemis347


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